The year of the Lord, The jubilee year! Intimacy of the Encounter

As I think of the last 28 years of my life, as a “religious woman.” Who I was when I entered the community? Who I have become? What have I left behind? What have I gained?  Whom have I touched? Who have touched my life along the way? I ask myself, what does “silver Jubilee means, for those whom I have loved, and from those who have loved me:  my family, friends, my hometown, my country of origin, my religious community, my adopted country? I cannot avoid going back to the origin of the meaning of the word, to the Mission of Jesus, in the passage Luke, 4, 18; and Leviticus 25, where God promises us that God will come and live with us (Lev, 26,11). At the end of the line of the mission proclamation, Jesus said, that he came to proclaim the year of the Lord. The year of awareness: divine intimacy; conscious commitment; and total letting go or our precious possession of who I have thought I was.  A call to embrace who I has always been called.

I asked myself, how many times have I felt my heart on fire, as I walk on dusty roads? (Luke 24). I can answer myself, perhaps more than 70 times!

It is a new beginning, not an ending.  Jubilee sounds covenant, love, commitment to the fullness, change, transformation, divine justice, solidarity, inclusive love, and most of all, finding oneself in Gods path, where one could see herself through that Divine light, and as part of that Divine light. The memories of the home parish, and the jubilee year, are related to justice, peace, solidarity (with the poor; with those in pain; with those we owe). Jubilee means forgiveness of debts…debts to oneself, and debts to one another.

As I begun a discernment of life, with my spiritual director, last year, I found myself having a profound dream. My dream was about driving my car, which is symbol of my life, my only possession, which does not even belong to me. It is a sign of the journey. I was driving on reverse. While driving on the high way, backward, and had a thought that perhaps, it was not a good idea.  I decided to stop under a comfortable spot, under a strong and beautiful tree.  A lady and a young girl run out of the house, to great me. I was pleased. I felt safe. I realized at that particular moment in my dream that I did not need to review my last 28 years of religious life, but rather, to accept that I arrived home. It felt that way. I, the grown up woman and the girl embraced me and told me, “Welcome home.”  At that moment, I realized that both women (the older and the younger) were both me, and that it is up to me to choose to be a more integrated person, because I embrace who I am today.  

I realized that, being where I am at this point of the journey has been a trip of self-encounter; spiritual journey; and a profound sense of identity and inner freedom.

Thank you for your prayers and support!

 Rosa Reyes, OP